Dating is a real challenge for people with learning challenges of any age. I had my first "girlfriend" in elementary school. With today's political heretics attempting to expose sex to elementary school age children, it is a very different arena compared to what I faced. We really didn't know anything about sex, and that is exactly as it should be. Kids should be innocent of sex. We understood a little about gender. Boys and Girls just had different parts. But we liked each other. So we played together on the playground. Sat with each other at lunch. And talked to each other when we could. I can't remember what all we talked about. But I imagine Transformers, princesses, Thundercats, Disney movies, cartoons, and coloring were popular. I mentioned my twin earlier. We did try to support each other as much as we could. But at times our relationship was strained due to my behaviors at home. This young lady was the first non teacher who I felt paid more attention to who I was, instead of how I saw the world. Helping your kids know how to start a simple conversation can help them build positive relationships in their life.
Our school was divided into three parts. Elementary, middle and high. Our middle school was 6th,7th, and 8th grades. This is a weird time in everyone's life. Bodies developing, hair growing in new and weird places, zits, noticing body odor for the first time, new activities in school and church, and further noticing the differences in gender. It is a time of self discovery and trying to figure out a little more about how you fit in the world. For me it was really weird. Most kids are self centered. But I didn't have the ability to understand that other people saw the world differently from me. Our mom had brought home a set of books called The Life Cycle Library.
If you get a chance to go through them, it is really illustrative of the state of the relationship between most parents of that time and their children. There is alot of really good information in them, but they were designed to replace a parents responsibility to explain some really important and uncomfortable aspects of adult life. The drawings are accurate but designed not to really illicit an inappropriate reaction from the reader. They fulfilled their purpose in that most of what we needed to know as early teens was explained. But I think an uncomfortable conversation with a parent you trust would have been better. There are more modern books out there to help parents address these issues, but make sure you really understand the messages they produce. There are many people trying to subvert what should be a natural part of growing up with their agendas. This should be discussed between a parent and their child before anyone else. Here is a good choicefor referance and guidance. They cover a wide range of views appropriately so that parents can address these issues comfortably with their kids.
I remember the "sex talk" my dad gave me when I was backing out of the driveway for my first real date. I was about to drive off when I saw him walking out. I rolled down my window and he leaned on the window. He looked really concerned and embarrassed. But he looked me in the eye and said, "I'm going to give you the same sex talk my dad gave me as I drove off on my first date. And in much the same manner." He reached into the window, put his hand on my shoulder, gripped it tightly and said, "Now don't knock that girl up, you hear?" I was a little shocked. It was a first date. But I nodded my head and shakily replied, "yes sir", and drove off. And by the way, I didn't, "knock that girl up". As I recall we were to embarrassed by being on a first date that I didn't even try to kiss her.
Asking her on a date was a challenge. Other than being an undiagnosed, yet high functioning, awkward teenager with extreme hyperactivity, and a reputation of causing some issues in class, I was completely normal. And extremely shy. So when I walked up to her table at lunch and jerkily blurted out the question the entire room went silent. At least it felt that way. We had spoken a few times in class and I thought she might like me, but you never know. I was really sweating when I asked. She smiled broadly and said yes. I abruptly turned around and walked away. Before I made three steps she loudly cleared her throat. I stopped and cringed. Turning around, she asked, "aren't you forgetting something?" I was in shock. What did I forget? I guess I had that deer in the headlights look on my face. She waited patiently for it to dawn on me. I felt really dumb. I said, "Saturday? Pizza and a movie? About 5?" Her smile widened, and she gave me her address...
Dating at any age is difficult. I think we all get caught up in our current events and being in the now makes dating difficult. Especially today. But I will cover my dating app horror stories in another post.
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